Out my Window: The evening sky has been beautiful with a bright, large moon and stars. Even when it clouds up the lighting has been breathtaking.
Enjoying: Frozen blueberries and Banana Dole Dippers. Extra time to read. Good books and good company.
Listening to: Nothing too specific. I did listen to a Jill Briscoe talk on 2 Kings 6 The Cutting Edge. https://www.tellingthetruth.org//listen/message?name=the-cutting-edge&mid=13b534b4-cfcd-4772-a2af-bfc83b7b363f
Also listened to Dave Brubeck’s jazz channel on Pandora
Reading: Finished Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb from the library. I definitely enjoyed this book on many levels: it is written in a witty conversational voice, I am very interested in therapy, people and the brain, and the humanity of the story. Warning: there is some language and some crudeness. There are quite a few quotes I want to hold onto, a few notables:
People often mistake numbness for nothingness, but numbness isn’t the absence of feelings; it’s a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings.
People don’t always remember events or conversations clearly, but they do remember with great accuracy how an experience made them feel.
Don’t judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don’t be afraid of the truth.
The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough by Glenna Marshall I am participating in the Book Launch. Review coming soon, quotes on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/inkblotlife/ . The book can be pre-ordered at https:/amzn.to/2Xnyleb It releases on August 1. I am very excited to get on the launch teams for Ruth Chou Simons’ new book Beholding and Becoming (9/10) and Sarah Mae’s new book The Complicated Heart (9/17) You will be hearing more as I get to review them.
Carry around book: A friend let me borrow a copy of That Denmark Might Live: The Saga of the Danish Resistance in World War II by Irving Werstein. I am always intrigued by WWII and this one is more of the angle of a group of people that stayed loyal to each other throughout the war and after as people returned.
Pondering: Responses, grief, healing, growing. I was talking with a new friend about her response to a bad interview and she was wondering why she responded the way she did to some of the interviewers questions and his demeanor. I was thinking how when we hear things, or interact with others from a place of peace and wholeness with our identity fully intact, people can pretty much say what they will, and they will not knock us down, but when it comes close to a space that is not healed, or that we feel insecure in, it is easy to become defensive, or overreact to the question or comment. Thinking about this in terms of my response to a person in my life who I want more for but I seem to fall and fail in interacting in a kind, helpful way. I am starting to see what my words sounds like to him and thinking about what fears I am speaking out of.
Learning: The pondering has trickled over to my learning that my responses to an individual in my life have really been very much nagging and pushing. This is not the same as walking with someone and allowing them space to work out where they are at, and where they are going. I am not like that with others in this stage, so I am taking time to learn from my reactions and feelings as to what it is really showing me about my heart. I am learning that these responses are coming from a place of fear for that person, and wanting to push them into a healthy path, which I know does not work and is not the way to go about it. I am learning what it looks like to give myself more grace in this situation, and offer that person grace also.
Home: Getting there. This past week I worked my way around the kitchen, literally. I cleared out and cleaned out one section at a time. I am now doing this in our office. Also picked up some organizing cubes for my son as his clothes outgrew his dresser a long time ago. It was a reminder that sometimes it is clearing out, but sometimes it is about having the right tools and storage.
Fitness and Mental Health: Schlogging on some days, not as much with the heat. Random at this point, but trying to keep moving. Up to 15 pushups. Mental Health is about allowing myself to read extra during the day.
Giving Thanks: For an opportunity for my younger son to serve at a camp. For the wonderful men that were serving there also and able to encourage and influence my son in a good way. For time to connect with some people that I have not in the past bunch of months. For interactions with women who are wrestling forward, and doing the hard things in life because they want God’s best. Our summer plans of fun and connection. For a different schedule, opportunities to be lazy, watch movies, read books, cook outs, fresh food.